living for your memory…..

I’ve been living for your memory

carrying you with me 

holding you in arms that only ache from nothing there

trying desprately to cling to you as a floatation devise

just treading water for so many years

my legs have kicked and kicked

my mouth has gasped for air 

inhaling bits of the sea with each breath

I can feel it you know

feel it pulling me under

There have been times I have stopped struggling

and have allowed my head to sink beneath the waves

I have opened my eyes under the water

the salt stinging my eyes 

yet I keep them wide and try to look for you…

look for any sign of you

and I chicken out as I feel the urgency to breath

I surface once more

and resume the struggle

the struggle to live

to live for your memory